What changes did you make in your life?

Changes I made in 2024

A highly sensitive person

As a highly sensitive person with a drive to be of service in society, it’s my priority to be engaged and productive. In 2024 my life had a continuous fluctuation between energy ups and downs. It often took me a day or more to recover after an online gathering, a deep conversation, babysitting my grandchildren, sitting in a busy metro, … I knew, that I could not go on to just throw myself in every situation and cope with what happened in me, afterwards. I needed alone time to find out how to break this pattern. For that I would have to make changes in my life.

Extra challenging

What made this year extra challenging was that my bodily sensitivity had grown in scope and depth. Whether I am with others or on my own, I receive images about situations and feelings about people. I get impulses to follow my will or drive, to go create and act. Sensations come up – tension, pressure, trembling, pain, cold, stiffness, … When I zoom in on them they bring up thoughts and emotions.

I took the time to gain more insight. The amount and quality of my inner feedback is enormous. From the mind (even from the unconscious mind), feelings, intuition, bodily reactions, soul talk and other sources/channels yet unknown. It still surprises me how everything makes sense.

My drive and capacities

I want this phase in life to be one of service, love, creating little pieces of the world I dream about, in everything I do. My ambition is to do what I do best. I know, that my capacities are often perceived as ‘vague’ and abstract. I describe them as: bringing in purpose; develop and manifest; ability to align with the flow and trends and to see what’s happening, what does not work well and where there are openings for change and improvement; ability to always see the whole; holding space for grounding. My own feeling-experience is, that these capacities – everything in me – support me in who I am and how I want to live my life.

Leaving my main groups

In the Bridging Continents group, initiated by Anne-Marie Voorhoeve, I realised, that what I did was automatically offering my capacities, from within myself as a source and/or pass-through hatch of energy. And, often, when I was the only one, doing what I did, it drained my energy. On the other hand, I was not optimally supporting and co-creating with the group: artistically, spiritually, in deep connection with indigenous peoples, working with nature in ceremonies. I decided to leave the group, grateful for what I had learned and with much appreciation for their work.

I participated in the empowering Nest City community, initiated by Beth Sanders, for cities and communities. We practiced a combination between action research, dedication and joy. I did not have work experience in cities and I learned a lot. I brought in my  expertise and experience as best as I could, when I saw something I could do. In 2024 Beth was called to help organise and restore a Canadian village, that had much suffered from wildfire. For me this was a moment, that I could withdraw. I knew I would miss the engaging and enthusing atmosphere.

I have been an active member of the Integral City team since 2014. In our meetings we learned from the great work of Marilyn Hamilton, the founder. We always started our meetings by voicing our collective intention: to be in service of our beautiful planet. We let ourselves be guided by Gaia Code of Care. We shared, reflected, experimented and co-created. With the aim to find (new) ways for cities to develop towards integrality. Being in this group, in this work, inspired me to develop the first collective scenarios for lifemaps. People in the wider Integral City network really helped me by validating those in projects. In 2024, Marilyn co-founded the Living Cities Earth network, bringing together a large group of partners – with great potential. A number of the Integral City team members became partners. I had to conclude, that for me this was too much. Deeply grateful for our time and work together I said farewell.

Difficult to stop

It was quite difficult for me to leave these networks of beautiful people, in which everyone is doing all that is in their powers, to work towards big goals, for cities and the world. Happily, I know, that my connection with them lives on. I’m curious as to what will make us meet each other again.

Firmly, I set the intention

On my own, I really needed to dedicate myself fully, but with my current sensitivity this did not come naturally. I set the intention to learn how to live with the different energies I perceive and sense. I started to evaluate everything that had happened in my life, recently. I did a deep and wide exploration of what was known about subtle energy and my energies, to find out what could help me keep my balance, calm and ground.

Developing lifemaps

It was ‘logical’ to focus on my work with lifemaps. I set my goal on developing the collective scenarios for which I had the motivation, expertise and capacities. In 2024 I completely reworked the existing drafts. I made a clear choice to develop what I knew they would be able to do for people, to make the mapping process, exploration and storytelling worthwhile. I updated the storylines and all texts; I created the new sticker sets. My mission for this work has become: Deeply connecting to key personal-local, societal and global issues will show us areas and ways to engage, create our life’s work and contribute to the world.

Found my first daily practices

How else can I be of service in the world, now I’m on my own more often? I appreciate everyone and everything in my daily life. I broadcast love wherever I go. When I encounter, see or read about situations in which people, animals, the environment, the planet are suffering, I speak out a good wish, with the power of my intention. I sing mantras, especially Lokah samastah, sukhino, bhavantu – May all beings be happy and free. May all thoughts and actions contribute to happiness and freedom for all. I describe this ‘work’ as: Developing the whole, from the inside out.

Developing the inner conditions

And what about the energies around and in me? Bit by bit, I’ve been finding out more about how to work with them. It can be frustrating. I need a lot of patience and self-love. I need to really believe in myself and to trust, that I’m capable of guiding myself in the process.